How to Sound Like An Elegant Woman

What does an elegant woman sound like? And is it totally necessary to always be aware of how you sound to others?

Both of these are tricky questions – elegant can mean different things to different people. Some believe that voice awareness is important. Other’s don’t.

The thing is, no matter who you are, sounding elegant is NOT about suppressing your natural voice or personality. It’s a matter of thinking about the way you speak in consideration to others – so you can present the best version of yourself and hopefully be top of mind as a charming and professional person.

So what exactly does it mean to sound elegant?

Well, I like to think of one example that showcases just how important sounding simply lovely impacts a personal brand.

Before Catherine Middleton became the Duchess of Cambridge, she most definitely had a natural way of speaking to her. Everyone is unique, right? Supposedly, she did get training on how to speak like a royal – which means she has to be understood well by all, control her vocabulary, and control the volume at which she speaks depending on the situation.

Over the years you can hear how her voice has slightly changed (mind you, she always sounded quite lovely).

I can appreciate what Catherine learned – speaking elegantly is something I have been working on for years and can proudly say my speaking skills have allowed for ample opportunities and job offers. It’s nice to hear “you sound like you know what you’re talking about” even if you feel you don’t.

So today I want to give you some tips I learned, and some I’m sure Catherine has learned, on how to sound like an elegant woman. Keep reading!

How to sound like an elegant woman - get these tips on sounding elegant, put together, and professional. If you want to speak like a Duchess, this guide is for you! Click through to the post to learn more

1. Practice Enunciation

Both of my parents were immigrants and I learned language from them. English was my first language, but because I had foreign parents, what I knew about enunciation came from them. It wasn’t very good. And I got made fun of for mispronouncing words, talking too fast, and slurring my speech.

What worked in correcting my enunciation was practicing. And yes, I would say things out loud: slowly and making sure that I spoke clearly with every syllable until I got it right.


2. Avoid Swearing

Now this isn’t a criticism on anyone who chooses to use swear words regularly, but swearing can be off putting in a professional setting. If you want to sound elegant, reserve the swearing for home and mind your manners while out (yes, even if you stub your toe). An elegant woman doesn’t swear in the company of others.


3. Choose Your Words Wisely (the Royal Approach)

The Royal approach is to use simple and understandable language to all. Choosing words wisely doesn’t mean flipping through your thesauruses to say “thus” instead of “so”.

When you speak, speak so that others can understand you. Speak simply. Speak so you don’t intimidate others with your words. (I got this idea literally from a job posting for a social media coordinator at Kensington Palace!) When you do this, people will appreciate you because you aren’t showing off and you are making sure they feel included. An elegant woman always takes others into consideration.


4. Speak Without Fillers

Fillers are words you use between words. It’s a very common practice and isn’t necessarily bad.

They are words such as “umm, like, uhhh, err, ahh, and so”. Good speeches don’t use fillers.

But elegant women use them too! Just keep it to a minimum. Fillers are used mostly because someone is struggling with what to say. They haven’t thought about it before speaking. It’s sort of like mind before voice in this case.

An easy way to prevent the “umms” and “likes” are to speak slowly. Form the sentence in your head before saying it. And the best tip I learned? Replace the fillers with pauses. It’s usually where fillers want to go: between thoughts and when the sentence changes. So instead of saying “umm” or “like” just pause…and continue with your story.

Let me know how this works for you! It really helped me.


5. Control the Volume

Elegant women know when to use their indoor and outdoor voices. Even when they laugh indoors, they are considerate and avoid turning heads. It’s actually part of their charm…they are soft spoken and often times the person listening to them needs to lean in a bit more to hear them.

While it might seem “popular” to be talking loudly about your new car, an elegant woman never boasts, never yells, and certainly knows that there are others around her who are there to enjoy meals, read books, or carry on with meetings.


6. Speaking with Kindness and Grace

One of the most important ways to sound like an elegant woman is to speak with kindness and grace. They know their manners: they know when to speak, when to listen, and when to interrupt. An elegant woman sounds pleasant with her words and make sure others feel enlightened, not unimpressed after speaking to her.


You see, none of this is about suppressing your personality. An elegant woman can still be moody, hyper, happy, heated, sad, confident, shy, or any emotion you can think of.

But most of all, sounding elegant is just being considerate – and the world could do with a bit more of that, don’t you think?

What does sounding elegant mean to you? I’d love to read your thoughts. Please leave a comment in the comment box section below this article. Let’s chat!

Thank you



Behind The Blog

The Petite Bijou is an online destination featuring wholesome yet sophisticated living and styling tips for women. The site is run by the family and friends of survivor, lifestyle influencer, and writer Mariam, who passed away in the summer of 2020.  Mariam also hosted The Bijou Show, a self help podcast.

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Leave a Comment


  1. kathy Barbagallo wrote:

    Thank you very much. It is nice to be reminded of the right way, and the nice way to speak to another person. It is a learned way, so if you don’t have a great influence in your family home, to learn by example, you will not know how, and why you should even care about it.
    I hope your call is heard, and then can be carried to the next person, who lack confidence and the skill, so they will then be, a great and loving influence to many many people.

    Posted 4.9.21 Reply
    • Editor wrote:

      Thank you so much for reading this post and for your thoughtful comments.

      Posted 4.9.21 Reply
  2. Valerie Vandermeyden wrote:

    I very much appreciated you lovely words. I was a communication student yet this wasn’t covered. All male PhD s and one gal but she was bold style and I didn’t study under her. Mom is from UK, dad from the Netherlands. It’s not called Holland. Mahalo, val

    Posted 3.14.21 Reply
  3. Sidna Smith wrote:

    Beautiful definition! I’m sending this to my granddaughters who are in the military. True femininity to me is strong secure &elegant!

    Posted 1.25.21 Reply
  4. Mia wrote:

    Dear Petite Bijou,

    I like your articles because I am keen on finding the right way to elegance style. In my opinion, elegance is beauty and beaty is good. I think it sometime missing in thesedays society. Greetings from the Czech republic.

    Posted 1.16.21 Reply
  5. Karen Newman wrote:

    It’s never to late to become more elegant

    Posted 1.12.21 Reply
  6. Claudia Gonzalez wrote:

    Excellent, thank you

    Posted 10.18.20 Reply
  7. Trinidad wrote:

    I enjoyed your article very much my mother always remind me a lady always thinks before she speaks and I’m glad somebody else agrees with her I taught both my children this and they too think before they speak

    Posted 7.30.20 Reply
  8. Julia wrote:

    I loved this article. On point! Greetings from Colombia 🙂

    Posted 10.2.19 Reply
  9. Rosemary Childers wrote:

    I am also a senior of 69 years of age. I enjoyed all of the information that you have shared. I would like to continue getting the information.

    Posted 7.17.19 Reply
  10. Nancy Dixon wrote:

    I’m 73 and how I wish I had been given this advise years ago, Thank you so very much, I agree we’re never too old to learn.

    Posted 6.25.19 Reply
    • Dilla wrote:

      Hi, i love your article 😍Very interesting and useful to learn about this.

      Posted 2.14.20 Reply
    • Olivia Adiele wrote:

      Can you teach a free class on zoom on how to be elegant and for all ages please Thank you.

      Posted 11.1.20 Reply
      • Thank you for your comment and suggestion. Perhaps one of our new contributors would be interested in doing something. We will be adding new content soon.

        Posted 11.1.20 Reply
  11. Candace Welsh wrote:

    I am new to your blog and love it! I am 65 years and trust me, I am always learning new things. I also had a mother who reminded me to “stand straight”. Posture was never one of my strong traits. About a year ago, I discovered ballet videos. I was forced to change my gym routine because of an arthritic knee and I find many of the ballet moves has improved my posture tremendously. And I noticed you have mentioned Catherine Middleton a few times. I absolutely adore her and take note of her mannerisms. As I said, I’m never to old to learn. Thank you, Candace

    Posted 5.29.19 Reply
    • Susi T wrote:

      Hullo Candace and Mariam. I’m another newbie too and enjoying these great articles from The Petite Bijou” – thank you Mariam. Candace – at 70+ – I totally agree – we are never to old to learn, indeed as we endeavour to learn new things we are encouraging our brain cells to stay active and healthy! Also, “never too late” to incorporate Ballet moves into our fitness regime – good for you! (I am motivated after finding the You Tube channel Sleek Technique several weeks ago. Hosted by two delightful ex ballerinas – well worth a look everyone). You will no doubt agree that as we age it is often a struggle to maintain a straight back; also that it is well worth the effort as not only do we appear more youthful, but the very act of pulling the tummy in, straightening and lengthening the spine, gives us an instant sense of well-being. As we practice engaging our core on a continual basis, it becomes increasingly natural for us to stand and sit correctly without stiffness and not only will our tummy appear less obvious, weight is lifted off our internal organs contributing to better health. A win, win situation. Despite being more than an ideal weight, plus joint and muscle pain, I pull my tummy in, lengthen my spine, hold my head up and step brightly into the day ahead. For young subscribers – be encouraged to start now – you shall gain confidence and have “presence” wherever you go. Be blessed🌹

      Posted 6.17.19 Reply
  12. J wrote:

    The Petit Bijou came as a suggestion from Pinterest and I’m loving it. Thanks for the great advice 🙂

    Posted 5.15.19 Reply
  13. Anne Lukas wrote:

    Please help me to access « How to Look Effortlessly Elegant ? »I would like to pass it onto my Anne of Coventry Facebook page.

    Posted 3.20.19 Reply
    • Mariam wrote:

      Hello Anne,

      Thank you for your comment! The link for How to Look Effortlessly Elegant is linked here.

      Many thanks and I hope your community enjoys the post.


      Posted 3.20.19 Reply
  14. Camy wrote:

    Great tips thanks for sharing

    Posted 3.17.19 Reply
    • Mariam wrote:

      Hi Carny,

      Thank you so much for your comment! Glad you enjoyed the post.

      Posted 3.20.19 Reply
  15. Nicole wrote:

    These are all great tips!

    Posted 3.15.19 Reply
    • Mariam wrote:

      Thank you so much, Nicole!

      Always appreciate your kind comments and continued readership.

      Many thanks,

      Posted 3.20.19 Reply