A person very close to me has recently started their first big job out of college and we sat down for a chat over dinner last weekend to talk about this exciting opportunity. But with excitement also comes fear, stress, and uncertainty.
Will you succeed at your job?
Will they fire you, realizing they made a big mistake hiring you?
Will you make friends?
All these questions come to all of us when we have new jobs. Not only are we worried about our performance, friendships, management, but also how our work life balance will end up. We worry that we will burn out….a likely outcome in todays busy workplace scenario.
We hear our colleagues, friends, and family members complain about their work. And those fears also rub off on us. We question ourselves and wonder if in fact this new opportunity is a curse in a blessing.
My friend had these same worries – they discussed their deepest fears of rejection and stress – even though this new opportunity is one of the best they’ve had. What is one to do when presented with a new job but they have all these fears? Today I’m going to share the same tips I told them
1) Your fear will and does hold you back
Perhaps you’ve been fired before…or told you weren’t good enough. Perhaps you’ve heard the horror stories from friends about the company you’ll be working for. It’s ok to acknowledge you have fear. But swelling on that fear will and does hold you back. You will forever let your fears guide your decisions (at the work place too) which can lead to misguided decisions. When you make a decision based off of fear, you let doubt win. You let fear win.
To avoid this, stop thinking about the what ifs. They will happen if they have to happen to teach you a lesson. When you stop dwelling on these thoughts, you let in more room for improvement and success.
2) It’s not mandatory to make friends
This is something people seem to think is a must when entering the workplace. You don’t have to be friends with your colleagues or boss. You are there to serve a purpose that will benefit the company and yourself. If you have been burned before by office gossip, it’s best to maintain an air of diplomacy with your colleagues. You don’t need to fulfill what society says you should. Its not about being friends, it’s about being helpful to one another.
3) Prepare yourself for the “stress”
This means eating a whole foods plant based diet so that your energy levels are not dwindling throughout the day. Sugar and dairy can lead to brain fog and quicker burn out and stress. I recently watched this film on Youtube where this tip is used in military training. Also, doctors like Mark Hyman recommend cutting the things from your diet for better health Try to eliminate these things from your diet and you will find that your body responds well to your schedule and stressful situations.
Stress in your body is not the norm – so preparing your body to deal with that stress is the best thing you can do. If you know you have to wake up early, start preparing now by limiting electronic use at night. If you know that you’ll have a stressful situation or meeting, take time to learn and continually practice mental stress exercises like yoga and meditation. Don’t think this job will be stressful by not letting it get stressful.
4. Communicate your fears and requests
If you feel you are not prepared, like my friend, feel free to talk it out with someone. But know that talking about it might not help in the end. To really not only get over a fear but also prevent it from coming true, it’s about action. If a situation arises where you are being taught something and you still don’t understand, don’t bottle it up and just pray for the best. Ask for help, additional time, and any resources you need. People are generally afraid to ask for something nowadays. They don’t ask for extra napkins at restraints, they don’t ask people to speak up if they don’t hear them. It’s just how it is nowadays, but if you don’t ask, you don’t get. Being vulnerable is not a weakness – showing that you are not afraid to ask for help is an amiable quality.
5. Don’t judge and don’t expect judgement from others
We typically believe the worst in people: “My boss seems mean already, I’m sure they’ll be a nightmare” or “my co-worker is always late, so I know I’ll be blamed for that project not getting done right”. Firstly, those thoughts can become toxic, so you need to let go of them. And secondly, you need to get rid of judgement on your end and also thinking that you will be judged for the things you do. Your focus should be on being your best self no matter how other people around you act.
Stay in your own lane, be helpful and not judgmental, and you will be fine.
I wish my friend the best in their new job and I want to remind all of you that life is not worth stressing over about. Focus on making your mind, body, and soul enjoyable in todays society. Take care of yourself and know that fear should not hold you back.
What were some of the emotions and feelings you had when starting a new job? Did anything help to cope with the stress? Please let me know in the comments below.